do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
Sir, do you know why we pulled you over?
the dude who kicked in the windshield, also backflipped off the hood of the car. you know he’s waited his entire career to bust out those moves.
I AM THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Grayson, we know you work as a police officer for a day job, but this is not subtle. Not at all.
hey bro…u awake? can i hold your hand…..i had a nightmare
It’s a metaphor, see
My new kink is the boys being tossed against the Impala.
i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be
someone asked earlier what tattoo artists practice on before human skin.
here is a tattooed banana, one of the options.